I wrote this blog in June of 2006, but it was on my mind the past 4 days so I figured I'd post it here and get you all's thoughts...
"Today I was having a conversation with a co worker about how our kids will grow up, and the black community. It prompted me to make this post.
The convo went like this,
My kids will grow up going to wonderful schools, and they will be exposed to everything though because I don't want any scary kids. I want well rounded kids who are still in touch with all different kinds of black people. My kids will not be afraid of the hood, but they won't grow up there. They will travel all over but they will be American. I'm going to do what my mom did. She made sure we spent plenty of time at my grandmother's growing up. My grandma owns a building on the west side. So, I have no fear of the Westside or of anything happening to me there due to that. Plus, she made sure I went to an economically diverse high school that was still good academically. I went to classes with people whose parent's receivde welfare checks and those whose parents had trust funds set up for them. All of that gave me the ability to code switch. Cause if there's one thing I can't stand it's black people who were so sheltered they cant relate to all kinds of black people.
One of the reasons I will only send my kid to boarding school if I'm positive they are already well rounded and exposed. If not they will be going to the Latin School of Chicago lol I think part of what helps too is that my mom's side of the family is very diverse economically, so if you're at family reunions or visiting someone you will come in contact with all kinds of people. now my dad's side is rather different no diversity on that side. And my kids will def have access to both sides....Like I could date a snob and we could spend his money but it'd be hard for me to marry one because I don't want my kids to grow up with a snob for a daddy. The mate we pick will make or break our kids.
I can def only think of one friend I have that feels the same way and has voiced it. I think that many people get so caught up doing better than the previous generation that they forget some of the good positive things, and they don't impart those things to their children. They're so concerned with keeping up with the Jones' that they don't think about the lack of diversity. I have a few friends that grew up like that and when they come visit me and we go to the hood, they're literally scared. It almost turns my stomach until I remember they don't know any better. There's this book called Code of the Streets. it talks about the ability to code switch and how important it is to survival for black youth nowadays. My kids will be pros at it. They will be comfortable having dinner with an ambassador but they will also be comfortable playing 4 square in the middle of the Westside with the other kids. Nothing is worse than a scary kid. That’s the reason African Americans stay down as a group. People are so busy thinking about themselves and achieving more equity, that they don't help there fellow man who they were like maybe not this generation but somewhere back there they were.... we all started out as slaves with nothing...until people realize we're all one in the same and everyone has something they can bring to the table it might not be money but they have intelligence and are more than the annual family trip to dish out food to the poor black people at the soup kitchen. People always say the problem with blacks in this country is the lack of black leadership, its not that. The problem is the lack of a true sense of community amongst blacks. Until people realize their communities are made up of more than people with the same socioeconomic background we will continue to not elevate as a people. People need to realize no one is beneath them"
Monday, August 18, 2008
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4 comments:
Preach! I had a long comment but... I decided against posting it, for now. But... I was nodding my head in agreement at a lot of it.
Theres so much goin on here...but I'd like to propose that we all evaluate why we want kids in the first place. Considering how many hungry/parentless children have already been born and neglected, its clear that many of us just want mini-me's- a compact version of ourselves. The altruistic thing to do would be to adopt the aforementioned but that doesn't seem to be the case. Instead, we're hard up on the genetic component.
Personally, I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around it. Between the relatives/men/women who sweat me about procreating (despite the fact that I'm openly GAY:), all the homeless kids I know, and the financial obligation, I can say that I'm not certain that giving birth is the best option for me. Besides, I'm too afraid of pumping out darth-vader #2. I come from interesting stock--so interesting that it leaves much room for error.
@ kat - boooo lol
@ olivia - I'm all for adoption, but I also want my own blood children.
Um... it was like a book. And this is NOT my blog. lol! No booing the Kat, Sassy!
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