Monday, June 25, 2012


Sometimes all it takes is an apology.

I have friend that said one of the most hurtful phrases a friend has ever said to me.  I cried, and took a break from the friendship for 2 yrs (minus serious life events taking place in which I reached out).  For the first time my mother even told me to walk away from a friendship.  My mother has never done this before with any of my close friendships.  She calls it "kiddy stuff" to get involved in my friendships.

That phrase was the straw that broke the camels back and anything that happened afterwards was just icing on the cake.  We'd tried to just move past it 9 months later when she told me she missed my friendship, but that only lasted 8 months before something else "bogus" took place.  I took a 10 month break (I thought it was going to be permanent).  We finally had a conversation after she had to undergo major surgery.  The whole time she was in surgery i just kept thinking to myself Lord please don't her die or not be okay and our friendship is the way it is.  Once she was able to talk and sit up again we talked.

The apologies I received and the explanations were things I didn't even realize how much I needed, immediately I felt at peace again.  The reason we were able to move on 10 months before was that deep down inside I needed that apology.  I tend to be very forgiving, and will try to just brush certain things away or decide to move on from whatever took place without even having to discuss it.  But with this being such a close friend and what she said having cut so deeply I need more.

I am thankful that we were able to say the things we needed to say and move on and back to each other.  I am sad it took a terrible event for us to get there, but happy nonetheless.

1 comment:

The Black Kat said...

Yes ma'am... I can identify with the post. A heartfelt apology can go a LONG way. My ex-BFF and I reconnected earlier this year. And even after years of not speaking, when my dad passed - she was there. Albeit at the time, I didn't reach back (under the circumstances, I didn't think it was the right time nor was I ready to)... it touched my heart in a way that only your (ex) BFF could. We have a mutual male friend - who has told each of us when either of us have asked about the other and likewise told us that we need to get this friendship together. She recently had a big milestone happen in her life - and once again, asked about me. She called & teared up and just shared her heart/feelings... touched my heart (AGAIN) - and I meant to reach back, yet some months have passed & I still haven't done so. This post made me realize... it's time. Because I never really needed an apology from her. In growing over the years, I understand our difference. What I needed was to hear her heart. And she's let me hear it twice now - through her words.

Anyhoo... I'm glad you found what was needed for you to be able to move forward. And I hope it's like breathing in a dose of new & refreshing air. Good friendships (the one's worth saving) are just too precious to throw away. But you once told me... sometimes things need to fall apart - in order for you to come back together in a stronger capacity. I've learned to believe that to be true in certain instances. =)

Thanks for sharing this, sis. Love you! <3